You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize