Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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