Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
