well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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