I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
