I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
