We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Liz is crying about burritos again.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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