Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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