Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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