They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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