Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
