dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize