He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
