yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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