That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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