found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
