it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
