Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
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So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
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I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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