I looked at my own cervix.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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