All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I can text with my tongue
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
