I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
