The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
