I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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