lets start a swedish sibling band together
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize