He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
This toilet bowl is my home.
do nipples grow back?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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