I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
