dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
