wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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