I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she peed on how many people?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
