I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My dick has a subreddit
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
