I want to make a zoo with you.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
