your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
