I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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