i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Randomize
