i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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