4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
