Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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