this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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