called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
