tell your sister to shave her snatch
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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