So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize