i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
