I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize