we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
