who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize