3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
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All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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