I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
