Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
