So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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