Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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