rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Damn victory sex feels great
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
