PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
