She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
