i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
