i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
