i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Randomize
