we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
