I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
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