Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
We left an ass print on the piano.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
